It's time.

I think it's time to start this back up and make some changes. Where my original plan was to just keep up with Alice's life, it's been discovered that this is a mommy journey too. The name of the blog will be changed to Strange Adventures in Mommy-hood. Where as my husband doesn't have time to constantly post on a blog, I'm sure he'll pop in every now and then. I may even invite other mothers to post, because we all have different stories.

So let me catch you up on some things...last time we checked in Alice was nine months, she's now two years old. She's a handful, loves to read, and is very smart. She never ceases to amaze me. She's blonde and brown eyes, looks like a perfect mix between Brandon and I. After a short holiday season job, I am now a stay at home mom and author (oh yeah, that totally happened last year, but this is not the place for talking about that. :) ), I take care of the house, the baby, the cooking, and pretty much everything else. Brandon puts in quite a bit of help (as a daddy should!) when it comes to Alice and helps out where he can, but our agreement is he works, I worry about everything else. (Except, like I said...he does parenting duty, do not think for a moment he doesn't.) He works full time with a job that requires him to travel, sometimes just to the next town over, and sometimes over night. We have all learned so much over the last months. We've made mistakes, we've made progress, and we've grown. That is important, but not my reason for posting.

My reason for posting today is the ridiculous debate on the whole "Break down the gender stereotypes."

I've been seeing articles floating around and raving reviews on this advertisement here, that encourages girls to play with an engineering toy instead of pink girly toys. (Like dolls and tea sets) Okay cool, we had toys like that growing up...they were called legos. And they weren't just boy toys.

I'm team encourage your baby to play and explore. Alice is a girl, we dressed her in girly clothes, in pinks and purples. She has a play kitchen, a little girl broom and she pretends to cook and clean 'just like mommy!' and it's because she sees me doing all of this. Brandon's at work and occasionally Alice will grab a bag and wave to me, "buy bye mommy!" I ask her where she's going and she glares at me and says "work!" Certainly she gets that from her dad, because he's the one that goes to work everyday and Alice makes it a point to get up to say bye to him every morning.

Gender stereotype? Possible, because that's the role I play at home and I'm a woman. Do I think it would be different if Brandon stayed home and cleaned, cooked, and such? Yes. It would be 'just like daddy!' instead of mommy and that's because she would see daddy do it. Does she think that only mommies can cook and clean? Probably not, she's two, she sees what mommy does and imitates it. She imitates daddy in ways too. That's what she does. As parents we encourage her to grow and learn and that's what matters, boy toys or girl toys, it doesn't matter.

She has Duplo blocks, and not just pink ones. You can't build a lot of things with just pink legos, you need other colors too. She has a fire truck and hotwheels cars. She also has a baby doll, a pink rocking horse, Disney princess toys and pink and purple blankets. Does this mean she's going to grow up in gender stereo types? I don't know. She's going to grow up where she is going to be able to make her own choices and understand why she makes them.

I also think that if I had a boy he would do some of the same things that Alice does at this age, because it's nurture. Do I think a little boy is going to become gay because he likes to cook like mommy? (or cook like daddy, if daddy is the cook) No, I don't and that's a whole 'nother debate right there.  My point is, don't force it. Don't force your girl to play with a dolls if she rather play with GI Joe, don't tell her, because you are a girl...same with your boys. If they rather rock a baby instead of pretending to blow stuff up, let them. On the flip side, if he rather pretend to blow stuff up, let him. Don't try to force him into anti-society, gender wall blasting, activities. Everyone is an individual. Boys, girls, teens, adults, we all like different things. As we grow we form our own opinions and there is nothing wrong if it happens to fall into pink or blue genders. Don't force it on your children though, let them continue to grow and explore their own world.

9 months and growing

It's been a while since we've had an Alice update, I've been a busy mommy but that's no excuse. We're just a few days from Alice turning 9 months. Holy cow how time flys. It's hard to imagine that she's gotten so big and is growing so fast. We've missed a lot with blogging, so let's catch you up to speed.

Alice eating avocado in a Munchkin Mesh bag.

Alice now has six teeth with two more making their way in, despite the teeth we are still successfully breast feeding! (I feel so lucky that I've been able to breast feed for this long.) She's eating solids three times a day and her favorite foods are: apples with oatmeal (baby food, fruits) sweet potatoes (baby food, veggie), cantaloupe (fresh fruit) and avocado (fresh veggie). We're working on drinking out of a sippy cup oh, and she's crawling. A lot.

Alice already has a love for books.

This child never stops moving, forget the Step n Play piano people, she's crawling after the cats and mommy. Alice has also already started pulling herself up on things and standing. I'm betting she'll be trying to walk before Christmas. At her 9 months she's fitting into some of the 12 month clothing, which is insane. She's so tall! And she is finally getting some hair, which depending on the light looks blonde or red.

So now that we're caught up, some lessons that I've learned in the last three months. Parents, have a replacement for your 'sleepy time friend.' (For us a 'sleepy time friend' is a stuffed animal that is only for bed time, it's not one that she gets to play with all the time. It's part of her bed time routine, which to us is very important to follow.) Alice used to sleep with a pink bunny that we dubbed Mr. Bun Bun, but Mr. Bun Bun is now...retired, but we didn't have any other Alice friendly stuffed animals for her to sleep with, (They all had button eyes) and well she missed him. Needless to say we went out and got a Ms. Monkey to keep her company during the sleepy time hours.

Mr. Bun Bun

Mommies (or daddies that get up at night) prepare for some sleepless nights when those incisor teeth come in. (I know it's different for all children, but...) When those teeth started pushing through the gums, poor Alice was up anywhere between every hour or every two hours. My poor baby had a rough time with those two top ones, but now that they are through she's doing great. :)

Children who are crawling are just bound to bonk their heads when they are discovering their balance, don't panic and don't make a huge deal out of it. No matter how many times you sweep and/or vacuum, your child will still find something random to stick in his/her mouth and that's an adventure all its own.

We're also starting on telling Alice no. No pulling hair, which for some reason certain family members keeping telling us 'oh, no, she's fine, it's okay.' We also tell her no when she touches things she's not supposed to, electronics that we're working on putting out of reach (husband is building something for that) outlets, even though they have the little covers in them, and so on. This is something we wanted to start early.

There's a couple lessons learned and what's going on with Alice, she's growing up so quick and I'm not ready for it. Before I know it, it'll be her first birthday. *sniffle*

Healthy Children, body and mind.

This passed week I had the pleasure of baby sitting my sister's two children. Michael, who just turned nine and Mckenzie who is six. Like most children they like to play outside, play video games and watch TV. While I cooked dinner each night I had them play outside for about an hour because it's been too hot for them to play out there during the day. When they were extra good for me I let them play Wii Fit. (I'm not a big believer in video games as baby sitters, we spent a lot of our time playing board games together) Mckenzie weighed in just below 40lbs, the Wii put her in the healthy weight category, but just barely, she was almost in the underweight category. I told her that it was great that she was healthy, then the scariest words came out of her mouth...

"I would be better if I was under weight."

Hold up, she's six, where is she getting these ideas from? Certainly not the video game, right? After talking it over with a few people we decided it comes down to nature verses nurture.

Michael came in at 57lbs, and according to the game was just barely in the healthy weight, bordering on almost overweight. He decided he needed to lose weight. Again, he's nine. Do I believe that the game negatively impacts their self esteem, yes. Do I think it's completely the game's fault? No. My sister does her best to show the kids what a healthy life style is, she jogs almost every day, makes sure that they eat three meals a day, and explains to them that they aren't fat or ugly. I know where a lot of this negative influence comes from, but it's not my story to tell.

My point is, this made me think about how I want to raise Alice. I know there's no possible way that I'm going to be able to block all negative influences from her, but I can show her what to be healthy means. Home cooked meals verses fast food, walks after dinner, and encouragement. Alice is a rollie  polly of a baby, like most breast fed babies are, but she's not unhealthy. I make sure she gets plenty of time rolling on the floor so she can explore how her body works and I make sure she gets fed. I play with her and I encourage her to reach for things and move towards them.

Seeing Mckenzie and Michael make me wonder what they are going to be like as teenagers. The last thing I want for Alice is for things like eating disorders and low self-esteem to be a huge worry when she grows. I want her to be confident in her skin. Society already has messed up views on what is beautiful and aren't concerned with what is healthy.

The other thing that caught my attention was when Alice grabbed my hair and I had said something about possibly cutting it short. (Those of you who know me, know that my hair has been short for many years.) Mckenzie told me that I would look like a boy if I cut it short again and short hair is ugly on girls. Hm.

I'm sorry, when did short hair become ugly on girls? Granted with the Emo and hipster styles, there's not a whole lot of difference between female and male short hair cuts. What's going to happen when she grows up and starts looking at magazines, she already has a low opinion of herself, she's not skinny enough, she's not pretty enough, and so on. At six years old. Think back, when did you start carrying about your body that much?

So parents, not just mothers, I encourage you to look at what you are teaching your children. Are you teaching them that what 'society' thinks is beautiful and healthy mean? Or are you teaching them to be truly healthy and comfortable in their own skin? When was the last time you made a healthy home cooked meal? Or went for a walk as a family? Have you ever played on the play ground with your kids?

I know after observing this I will be making some life style changes to be healthier for my daughter and show her that beautiful doesn't have to be underweight and that healthy is beautiful.

Mother First

Brandon covered Alice's six months birthday already, but I wanted to hit a little bit on how my life has changed. This isn't a poor me I have no life post, because I do, and it's a weepy and cheesy I'm so happy I have a baby post, though I am. This is a look at how my life has changed in the last six months.  I covered this a bit on the five months post, but now I've taken a closer look at my life and I encourage other first time parents to do the same.

Alice and I go out every Wednesday with a
friend for breakfast. See, I still have a life.

Alice and I ran around all morning to get things ready for tomorrow, we're closing on our house. (Yikes!) Originally I was going to end our time out by having lunch with a friend, but she wasn't available to do that until 2:00pm. I looked at the text, the first thing that crossed my mind was not 'wow, that's late for lunch.' it was 'Alice should be napping by then!' Every now and then I make the choice to miss nap time for something, and I deal with the consequences, but Alice hasn't taken a nap in three days. (This is because she has refused to sleep during her nap time, despite being tired.) She has also not slept through the night since those teeth have started coming in. I politely texted my friend back that we'd have to reschedule, and she understood because she's that kind of friend.

That was when I realized that my life really has shifted. I've grown up, and by that I don't mean I've given up on anything. Alice comes first in my life, as she should. I go to bed before or around ten now, even if what I wanted to accomplish isn't don. I get up without question when I hear her crying, I feed her, I cuddle her, I talk to her. My morning is spent playing with her on the floor or entertaining her in the piano, while my afternoon (when she's supposed to be napping) is spent cleaning up the house. When she wakes, I spend more time on the floor with her until it's time for me to cook dinner and then she plays in her piano and entertains herself for the most part.

This is when daddy gets home normally. We eat dinner, we feed Alice, bath her, read her a story, give her cuddles, and then we put her to bed. If Brandon's not in town or running late, I do that on my own. Alice has done well with her sleep training so most nights now she goes down with out screaming for an hour. (Woohoo!) I put away left overs, most of the time I make Brandon's lunch, take a shower, and maybe get a chance to do something I want to do before going to bed. Half the time I'm too tired so I stare blankly at Facebook and drool.

Now, I know that someone is going to mention but you're ALWAYS on the computer. Not true, most of the time my computer is on so I can stream Pandora because I want Alice to be listening to music. As a result It's always open, messengers are signed in, but as people who try to talk to me will tell you...I don't always answer right away.

I watch a lot less tv during the day, if I want to go out without Alice, then I plan it at least a week ahead of time. I avoid staying up too late because I know that in two to four hours Alice will be up and wanting to eat. When Brandon and I go out and take Alice with us, we always go to family friendly places and we try not to stay out passed bedtime. This is us as a family, we have our values our priorities. We know how we want to raise Alice, she will have all the love, care and nurturing that she needs to grow up into a strong, confident person.

I encourage you, if you're expecting your first child, or have your first already. Look at your life, think about your priorities. Is your child first in your life?

Now I know some of you have jobs and I'm not saying neglect your job for your child, not everyone is lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. I'm not saying you're a horrible mother if your life and views differ from what I have talked about today. This isn't about judging. This is about how I grew up in six months, where I've been and where I'm going.

This is how I am. I am a mother before all else.

6 months: How quickly they grow

  Alice is now almost 6 months old, and she's already grown so fast!  She has 2 bottom teeth coming in (they've already broken through the gums) and she's cutting a third.  She can now blow raspberries, and often does as one of the cats walks by.  She's also learning to sit up on her own, although when she gets excited she forgets and falls over.  She's bouncing, and talkative, and beautiful.  It amazes me that something so small and so helpless can change, and continues to change, those around her.

  Just this last week, over the Memorial Day Weekend, we went to see her grandmother and grandfather.  I have never seen my parents so happy as when they hold Alice, or when she laughs as they let her stand on their lap as she bounces.  Even my father, who has always been tough, rugged, and who I have never seen shed a tear, just melts when he holds his granddaughter.  He even panicked a little when she would sway from side to side as she was sitting up.  It was a side of my father I have never seen.

  We also have a plastic Fischer-Price Play Piano that Alice just loves to play in.  It has giant piano keys that she can press with her feet.  The piano keys that sit on the ground correspond to the keys on one of the rails, and they light up and make noise.  There's also 2 types of rattles attached, and on the other rail there's a mirror, some little plastic shapes, and a bell.  On the seat she sit's in, which rotates and slides, there are two ovals that have either balls, or that click when turned.  Over the last few months, I have watched her figure out not only how to turn up the volume of the toy, but also change the music type.  She is now able to turn herself around in her chair, and she's gaining the leg strength to move about on the rails a little bit.  She's also learned that she can flip the mirror around, and then flip it back.

  It's funny, really.  6 months ago I don't think I could have been impressed with a child learning to blow raspberries.  Now, as I watch what once was a black-and-white photo of a tadpole figure out that if she steps here, this thing lights up here, it shows how much a person changes.  I can tell you that everyday my daughter impresses me, and everyday I am just as surprised as she at the things she discovers.  I can't wait to see what new noise she learns to make, or watch as she interacts with the world around her, because to her, everything is new, inspiring, and mysterious.

5 Months and a House

Holy cow Alice will be five months come Tuesday! She's growing up so fast, it's unbelievable. She's my long, little, chunky monkey (said in the most loving way possible.) She's already in 6-9month clothing, she's trying to crawl and she's eating some solids.

It's amazing how much she has changed my life, gone is the groaning of getting up at night to feed her. Now I get up and enjoy my cuddle time with her. I've learned to readjust my life around her (not complaining) I'm learning to be home around nap time to avoid melt downs same with bedtime. I have to make plans around her, not me. What surprises me about this is how not understanding some people are about this. I have lost more than one friend since having a child, because they do not understand that Alice's needs outweigh my wants.

Other things that have happened since my last post. I am now a stay at home mom and we are in the process of buying a house.

Though leaving Progressive was kind of a complicated situation, it was the best choice that I've made. We save the money in gas for me driving up there, (a saving grace with gas nearing $4.00/gallon) and we save the money on day care. (even though my sister was giving us a fantastic deal). I love staying home with Alice and watching as she grows. Now I don't have to worry about missing her first steps, or her first words. I got to see her roll over for the first time, which was amazing. This is what I really wanted and though I'm still having a hard time finding my rhythm with her and house work, I'm loving every minute of it.

Speaking of house work, we made the decision to find a house and get out of the apartment. We've been in the apartment for almost four years, it's about time we move on. So after searching and looking, looking and searching, we found a house that met our needs. We put a bid in, won, did the inspection (which Brandon will over in another post). So now we wait for closing to roll around. We have huge plans for this house for over the years and when we move in. The best part of this? We're going to end up paying $100 less than what we're paying for rent. (not including utilities on either side) 

2 Weeks as a New Father

Alice Marie at 2 weeks old.

    Today my little girl is a whopping 2 weeks old.  2 weeks!  Time really does fly, and it's amazing to see how much my daughter has already grown in just 14 days.  I know a question for you parents-to-be, or those who don't have kids but want them, is "How hard is it?"  I know that there are horror stories of no sleep with a screaming and crying child, or of poop everywhere, or some other horrific tale your parents, friends, relatives, or co-workers have told you.I'm going to let you in on a secret or two, and even give you some advice.