This passed week I had the pleasure of baby sitting my sister's two children. Michael, who just turned nine and Mckenzie who is six. Like most children they like to play outside, play video games and watch TV. While I cooked dinner each night I had them play outside for about an hour because it's been too hot for them to play out there during the day. When they were extra good for me I let them play Wii Fit. (I'm not a big believer in video games as baby sitters, we spent a lot of our time playing board games together) Mckenzie weighed in just below 40lbs, the Wii put her in the healthy weight category, but just barely, she was almost in the underweight category. I told her that it was great that she was healthy, then the scariest words came out of her mouth...
"I would be better if I was under weight."
Hold up, she's six, where is she getting these ideas from? Certainly not the video game, right? After talking it over with a few people we decided it comes down to nature verses nurture.
Michael came in at 57lbs, and according to the game was just barely in the healthy weight, bordering on almost overweight. He decided he needed to lose weight. Again, he's nine. Do I believe that the game negatively impacts their self esteem, yes. Do I think it's completely the game's fault? No. My sister does her best to show the kids what a healthy life style is, she jogs almost every day, makes sure that they eat three meals a day, and explains to them that they aren't fat or ugly. I know where a lot of this negative influence comes from, but it's not my story to tell.
My point is, this made me think about how I want to raise Alice. I know there's no possible way that I'm going to be able to block all negative influences from her, but I can show her what to be healthy means. Home cooked meals verses fast food, walks after dinner, and encouragement. Alice is a rollie polly of a baby, like most breast fed babies are, but she's not unhealthy. I make sure she gets plenty of time rolling on the floor so she can explore how her body works and I make sure she gets fed. I play with her and I encourage her to reach for things and move towards them.
Seeing Mckenzie and Michael make me wonder what they are going to be like as teenagers. The last thing I want for Alice is for things like eating disorders and low self-esteem to be a huge worry when she grows. I want her to be confident in her skin. Society already has messed up views on what is beautiful and aren't concerned with what is healthy.
The other thing that caught my attention was when Alice grabbed my hair and I had said something about possibly cutting it short. (Those of you who know me, know that my hair has been short for many years.) Mckenzie told me that I would look like a boy if I cut it short again and short hair is ugly on girls. Hm.
I'm sorry, when did short hair become ugly on girls? Granted with the Emo and hipster styles, there's not a whole lot of difference between female and male short hair cuts. What's going to happen when she grows up and starts looking at magazines, she already has a low opinion of herself, she's not skinny enough, she's not pretty enough, and so on. At six years old. Think back, when did you start carrying about your body that much?
So parents, not just mothers, I encourage you to look at what you are teaching your children. Are you teaching them that what 'society' thinks is beautiful and healthy mean? Or are you teaching them to be truly healthy and comfortable in their own skin? When was the last time you made a healthy home cooked meal? Or went for a walk as a family? Have you ever played on the play ground with your kids?
I know after observing this I will be making some life style changes to be healthier for my daughter and show her that beautiful doesn't have to be underweight and that healthy is beautiful.
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